After the passing of loved ones, the act of sorting through their belongings can often unveil a life’s narrative encapsulated within seemingly mundane items. Recently, I helped my mother sift through boxes filled with keepsakes inherited from my grandparents. One box, humorously labeled “toothpick holders and other treasures,” drew my curiosity, only to reveal a solitary puzzle piece—a reflection of my grandmother’s playful habit of hiding the last piece of her jigsaws. The experience led to hours of shared laughter and nostalgia, yet prompted us to dispose of around 90% of what we unearthed. This raises a familiar inquiry—”Why did I keep this?”—a question I frequently encounter myself, whether from family, friends, or the many patients I work with as a clinical psychologist.
Hoarding disorder is a complex psychological condition characterized by an overwhelming urge to save items and an unusual difficulty in discarding possessions. For many adults, particularly those aged 60 and older, this leads to homes filled with clutter that can inhibit daily functioning and create unsafe living environments. However, clutter is not synonymous with hoarding disorder; many individuals may grapple with excessive accumulation without meeting the formal criteria for this psychological diagnosis. This behavior often originates from a deep-seated emotional connection to objects, representing memories, potential utility, or a perceived responsibility toward them.
As individuals age, changes in cognitive functioning, particularly in decision-making capabilities, can exacerbate proneness to hoarding. Studies have shown that older adults may experience increased difficulty around executive functions, leading to a challenge in sorting and determining the value of their possessions. However, during my research, I noted a surprising trend: older adults demonstrated less distress when making decisions about their belongings compared to younger individuals. This finding suggested that the fear of making the wrong choice might not be the driving force behind the urge to accumulate.
One remarkable aspect of my study into hoarding behaviors among older adults was the consistent presence of altruism. Participants often expressed sentiments of responsibility towards their possessions, believing that by keeping them, they were honoring the original owners or the planet itself. Phrases like “This should go to a good home” or “My grandmother gave this to me” echoed through many discussions I had during research. Such motivations are not rooted in anxiety over loss but rather in the values that guide many individuals’ beliefs about why they should retain these items.
In a 2024 study, we explored the implications of adopting a values-based perspective in aiding older adults to declutter their spaces. Engaging participants in discussions about their core values—whether they related to family, environmental responsibility, or the enjoyment of creativity—allowed them to approach decluttering with a clearer purpose. Instead of getting trapped in the immediate gratification of “sparking joy” from an item, they began to focus on the long-term goals that their possessions could help them achieve.
From my research and observations, it’s clear that effective decluttering can be enhanced by recognizing and embracing one’s values. The first point of action is to explicitly write out these values. What matters most? Is it your family’s history, environmental consciousness, or perhaps personal growth? Each object can then be evaluated against these values.
For instance, if family connection is your highest value, a cherished heirloom cookbook from a beloved family member might take precedence over a modern cookbook purchased on a whim. Conversely, if health and creativity are priorities, a cookbook focused on nutritious meals could be essential. This clarity in aligning possessions with values can facilitate the process of letting go of items that no longer serve your goals.
Moreover, as individuals dive into their clutter, it is vital to remain cognizant of conflicting values. In moments of indecision or emotional turmoil, assessing how keeping or discarding an item aligns with defined goals can help to clarify the path forward.
Finally, it’s important to remember that values are individual and subjective. When assisting a loved one in their decluttering journey, approaching the task with curiosity and without judgment is crucial. What may seem like a box of junk to you could hold profound significance for someone else—a collection of “toothpick holders and other treasures,” perhaps.
In navigating the tangled web of personal history encapsulated in objects, we hold tremendous power not just in decluttering spaces, but also in understanding the narratives that shape our emotional landscapes. To further explore hoarding disorder and find resources, consider visiting organizations such as the International OCD Foundation. Through empathy, introspection, and an alignment of actions with values, we can foster healthier, more meaningful living environments, regardless of age.